I wrote the post about being awesome before turning 30 sometime back. At the time, I thought I would also write about after turning 30. Though, I figured it should hardly matter, after all it’s just a number. I had however underestimated the psychological and probably some physiological effect of the same. Cause many things changed after I turned 30.
A Kid but not Exactly
So I usually think of myself as a kid. In my mind I imagine like 4/5 year old kid. Yea I am pretty crazy that way. Now however, just not that much of a kid. I consider myself an adult-kid now… it is sort of the same and still not the same. I guess this was also affected by the fact that I now have a niece and nephew. And their friends call me Aunty – and you know what? I am actually an aunty to them… and what is better is that when I look within, I can be an Aunty! I have all the resources, experiences and wisdom for it. 🙂
Let’s Get Serious OK
Apparently some other people also go through this where you all of a sudden decide to just get a lot more serious about life. Now I actually went through one phase of this in my late 20s itself… but I took this to a whole new level cause I am now 30 and I need to stop the shit and get real. The fact that some very real events (like getting blacklisted at Isha Foundation) also took place in my life at the time also boosted this feeling.
So the feeling is to take stock of what is real in my life – friends, work-wise, family, interests, financially n so on… and more importantly what do I feel about them. Do I feel the same or is it just some sort of a facade from either end?
I also try to identify the purpose behind stuff so that really helps gauge the value of it.
What do I REALLY want to do
So if you ask my family and most friends, they will probably tell you, that I do what I want to do. I have been doing that since quite a while back. What a lot of them don’t know, is that I do a very small part of what I really want to do. There is still a lot more that I would love to do but, I have not ventured there cause of internal hesitations and external reasons. After 30 I took stock of that as well. I need to accept who I am. A lot of what I want to do is not commonly done, but there is no other way. Trying to act like I am someone else, and I will fit in the common mold just doesn’t work.
The fact that I have broken molds before has given me an idea on what to expect…..
So a lot of change is in progress and maybe I will write more about it eventually, as currently still in my early 30s but I must say it has been an exciting year.
And it always helps to look young and then tell people ohh you know I am actually 30. Hehe
Honestly, I have no idea why people dread getting older… especially 30s. Cause this is where you can be an adult, but you are still a kid as well. 🙂