One of the things that are fundamental in life are your thoughts. And part of my spiritual journey and life is to think correctly. It means no rote repetition of what people keep saying but looking at the realities.
Trust is a word often used, but mostly in a very wrong way.
Starting from situations where as I child question an adult on something and they revert with “don’t you trust us?!”
I remember when I was facing many problems at Isha foundation a monk told me “it is because you don’t trust us”.
Most of these cases if you notice the word is used so generically. Don’t you trust me? What does it mean?
Trust you with my life? Trust you to do the right thing? Trust you to be decent? Trust you to look after yourself? Trust you for what?
It is crucial when talking about trust to lay out a context for the same. It is crucial for inner clarity, to set the right expectations and just be a lot more sensible in life.
What exactly is contextual trust?
Well you trust people on some things and not others. So stop being generic about whether you trust someone (even organizations n other such matters). It does not mean anything.
Set a context for trust in your thinking.
For eg:
I absolutely do not trust the tourist agencies to give me interesting places to travel. They tend to be massively on the wrong track when it comes to experiencing a place. But I do trust them on other things – like providing good Indian meals.
Similarly, family adults I usually trust them for being there for me if I get into some trouble or also for keeping their doors open for me always. They will also always look out for my safety and well being. But I simply do NOT trust them in being able to figure out what I need to do in my life.
I also do no trust most adults I have met to live life sensibly. I see their lives and I don’t see any clarity. Some of them have chosen some interesting paths but still I remain utterly sceptical about whether it makes any real sense. But again I do trust them to keep working at it – in their own small ways – working towards a better life however they see it.
Thinking in terms of trust with context makes sense and it helps you see realities better.
It is such a simple concept and yet it baffles me how generically the word is thrown around – leading to silly and negative conversations. Because things like “don’t you trust me?” is like a wall. Either I respond with No.. in which case you feel bad or I have to say Yes.
Instead contextual trust conversations are deeper and create way more clarity internally and also within the relationship.
A quote I picked randomly to end this post,
I trust the sun to rise and the sun to set, though I know one day it will do these things without me
~Joe Landsdale, from a book called Thicket