I was going through an English explanation/meaning of the Jain rituals like the Pratikraman. I have hugely propounded always that we should delve into the actual meaning of words and scriptures. And so I am always encouraging (pushing) my Jain relatives to delve into the actual meaning of the scriptures which they hold in high esteem.
I had an insight as I was going through the Pratikraman which has repeated mentions of ‘Michchami Dukkadam’. At all steps, for all misdeeds initiated the English text said, Michchami Dukkadam.
This was the insight – misdeeds initiated.
Michchami Dukkadam in common language gets spoken as “I ask forgiveness for any harm caused by me….” but its actual meaning in Sanskrit is Mithya Me Dushkritam (मिथ्या मे दुष्कृतं). Which literally means “Misdeeds be fruitless”. (the meaning of Mithya has a lot of facets to it. The one that fits well for me in this case is ‘fruitless’)
We do a lot of deeds in life. Or rather we want to effect many things in the world and so we initiate such actions that we think would lead to the desired effects.
But whether those effects actually come to pass depend on plethora of factors. Some may say it depends on God.
Simple, but a great insight.
We can only do deeds. What comes to pass in the world outside, will depend on a plethora of factors.
Brings a deep sense of peace in me.
People get all riled up in happiness and sadness because there is a feeling that I am causing so much good and bad stuff. In fact, isn’t this bloated feeling of “I am causing” at root of egomania? We have a misplaced sense of our own worth. But when we clearly see that we can only do our bit – and then the world/God takes over… that brings equanimity. It puts us in our place, which can be wonderful.
Even in saying “I may have caused you harm..” it suggests that I am causing something in the world. It could nurture our ego. But the truth is that I can only do the action, whether harm is caused or not is left to other forces.
I may have done some misdeeds. Let them be fruitless. Because the fruit has never been in my hand. I can only do the best as per my understanding and capability. The fruit of it will happen in its own time, and way. It may not be as per my plans at all.
This also addresses for me the matter where someone may do something very necessary but it hurts some other person. For example, a parent admonishing a child. The child would be hurt, but it’s for his/her own good. And the parent has behaved with the best of intentions. So does the parent apologize for it?
Also, when we simply say, ‘sorry for any hurts caused…’ it might suggest a foolish narrative where the spiritual sadhaka is expected to behave in a manner that hurts no one. But that’s not how it is. The role of the spiritual sadhaka is way more dynamic and brutal – they are often putting major life truths in front of indolent people. Can that be done without any hurt caused to someone else, even temporary?
So going back to the original meaning helps in this case. As we are saying let our misdeeds be fruitless.
And for me it leaves room to not judge my deeds (whether or not it hurts someone). Which I consider very important. Because until I am of the calibre where I can thoroughly understand the impact and purpose behind all my deeds I would not judge them. Sometimes what we consider our mistakes, may be really good happenings and vice versa. So, let misdeeds be fruitless, whichever they may be.
And yes, I am sorry for any hurt caused to other beings. But I don’t judge those actions. Sometimes very necessary actions may cause harm. Sometimes hurt is caused due to the other persons pumped up ego. And I can bow down and ask forgiveness. This act has many implications. For example, it prompts the other person to let go of the hurt & forgive. And as others ask my forgiveness, I also get a chance to forgive them. But again, I wouldn’t use this flippantly as a parameter to judge the actions. And that brings us one key Q: what is a mis-deed?
Something to ponder on. 🙂
This ritual is one of bringing humility towards our own actions. I had never thought of it this way before.
Misdeeds be fruitless.
Michchami Dukkadam.
